I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
