decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
