im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i now understand why vodka
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
FUCK WHALES
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
