At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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