Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And then he peed in my hair
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