Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
