She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
