you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
