oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
