There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
