I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
