you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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