He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
