Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
