I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
