We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I came so hard my ears popped.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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