Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
