took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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