HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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