at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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