allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
