We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
