He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Two words: blizzard sex
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
