I've blown a few things in my day
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im holly from the hills drunk
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
