What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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