Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
