I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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