i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
