I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
