Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I cut my penus on the lid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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