some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
