No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
