I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
