There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
