I need help removing her.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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