You just made me feel so damn special
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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