never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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