maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
