What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
