You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
