he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
