Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
