please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
