i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
