she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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