Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
