hotel room ftw
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
