Non-Jews are for practice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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