is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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