I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
